which end??

pyaari teacher!!!

BETA: PAPA meri teacher kitni pyari hai na,

PAPA: BETA teacher maa ke barabar hoti hai,

BETA: aap to hamesha apni hi setting karne ki sochte ho...

Vishaal Aakaash

(During a picnic .. while sleeping under a tent)
rita's friend : Garima, jara upar dekh aur bata.. tu kya nazar aata hai???
Rita: yaar jab main iss vishaal aakash ko dekhti hu toh main sochti hu ki kaash insaan ki soch bhi itni vishaal hoti.. toh duniyaa kaha se kaha pahuch gayee hoti...
ritaa's friend: tujhe bas itna hi nazar aaya??
rita: kyu??
rita's friend: tujhe upar aakash toh nazar aagaya .. tujhe yehi nahi samajh aaya ki koi humari tent ki chath lekar bhaag gaya hai...

pagal ne likhi 500 pannno ki kitab...

Doctor pagal se- Ye kya hai?

Pagal- Ye maine 500 panno ki kitab likhi hai...

Doctr- Tumne 500 panno pe kya likha?

Why multiplication on the floor??

Teacher : santa, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

Santa : You told me to do it without using tables.

Father hai petrol pump nahi...

santa apne father k samne cigrate pi raha tha

Logon ne kaha ke aap apne father ke samne cigratte pi rahay ho?

Santa bola : Wo mera father hai, koi petrol pump thodi.

An interview with Santa..

Interviewer : Imagine, in a closed room, how can you escape if it caught fire?

Santa : Simple, Stop imagining

Future planning...

Teacher: tum bade hokar kya karoge?
Student: shaadi..!!!!!\=D/
Teacher: nahi, mera matlab hai kya banoge?:)
Student: dulha !!!=-? 8-| :D
Teacher: oh, I mean bade hokar kya hasil karoge?:$
Student: dulhan!!!({})

Love s Daaru

LOVE v/s DAARU

LOVE-mood off
DAARU-mood Fresh

LUV-Neend Nahi
DARU-Mast Neend

wrong number!!!!!!!!

1 admi ki dusre shehar me naukri lgi.
Wha pahunch k usne socha ki biwi ko SmS kr du.
Galti se wo SmS kisi or k pas chala gaya,
Jis k pas gya wo aurat apne husband ko dafna k aai thi or SmS padthe hi behosh ho gi.

SmS kuch yun tha:
Main yha thik thak pahunch gya hu,
Yaha mobile ki suvidha bhi hai,
Tum udas mt hona,
2-3 din me tumhe b apne pas bula lunga..

Rainbow!!

PJ of School:-

Rainbow mein colour hota hai violet

wah wah!!

wah wah!!

Rainbow mein colour hota hai violet

Mam may i go to toilet =D =)) =D =))

Oranges

TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other what would I have?
CLASS COMEDIAN: Big hands!

Report Card

SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
SYLVIA: Your name on this report card. 

Go Slow

TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow." 

10 years ago

(A Teacher to class2 student)
TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn'thave ten years ago.
WILLY : Me! 

Schoolteacher

A schoolteacher sent a letter to all parents after day one of the new term which said “If you can promise that you will not believe all that your child says goes on at school, I will promise you that I won't believe all that your child says goes on at home". 

Coincidence

The teacher asked, 'Give me an example of Coincidence?'
Student replied, My mom and dad got married on the same date.

Pluto and Neptune

Teacher: Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Pluto and Neptune. Everyone must attend it.
Sudent: Sorry my mom wouldnt let me go so far.

MATHS

A teacher asked student, What is the full form of Maths?
.
.
.

Abraham Lincon

Teacher :What happened in 1809?
Student: Abraham Lincoln was born.
Teacher :What happened in 1819?
Student: Abraham Lincoln was ten years old.