empty minded

chudail!!

Biwi apne sharabi pati ko darane ke liye kale kapde pehan ke ghar k bahar khadi ho gayi,
Pati jhumte hue: Tum Kaun?
Biwi: Chudail
Pati: Hath mila, Main teri behan ka pati.

Biggest problem on earth

●►Husband and wife

Wife:--------You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Hubby:-- When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife:------- You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Hubby:---Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one.

Gudd mrninggg...

Itna pyaar :'(

Girl : What's the proof that you miss me?
Boy: See my cheeks, My mom slapped me
Because i was smiling while sleeping "Thinking of You" :)
Girl : Itna Pyaar karte ho (^___^) ♥
Boy : Nahin, Shakal dekh ke hassi aa jati hai

Politicians lie...

A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road when the bus suddenly ran off the road and crashed into an old farmer's field.

The old farmer heard the tragic crash so he rushed over to investigate. He then began digging a large grave to bury the politicians.

Are u comingg????

Little John cums to school daily with a black eye.
Teacher:
What's wrong?
Johnny:
Our house is very small. Me, mom, dad all sleep on the same bed.
Every nite dad asks:
'Johnny, U sleeping?'
I say 'No'. He slaps my face & gives me black eye.

Breaking news......

BREAKING NEWS:

Salman Khan and Sohail Khan to appear together in their next co-production titled 'Ek Tha Driver.'"

BA, MA, PHD fir????

Santa : pehle me apni biwi ko BA karwaunga fir MA fir PHD karwaunga fir badiya si naukri dilwaunga.

Banta : fir acha sa rishta dekh k uski shaadi bhi krwa diyo

Fear...............

What Is A Fear? ? ?

Fear Is The Deep, Wrenching Feeling In Your Stomach When Pages Of Your Book Still Smell New & Just Few Hours Left For Your Exams. !

Women=fruit

Woman is like fruit...
Every fruit has its own taste, sweetness and colour...

The problem with men is,
dey love fruit salad.

Same Dog

Teacher to Student: Kid, your essay on "My  Dog" is exactly the same as  your brother's. Did you copy from him?

Student: No, teacher, it's about the same dog!

Naya Phone

Boy: maine nayaa mobile khareeda hai.
Girl: chalo, mujhe party dhilaao
Party ke baad,
Girl: party ke liye paise kahaa se laaye?
Boy: nayaa phone khareeda tha na, use bhech diya 

Special Ya Ordinary

Customer: aap har somvaar hotel ko chutti kyu dete ho?
Hotelwaala: kyunki hafte me us din hee hum saare bartan saaf karte hai
Customer: Bhaisaab, ek cup chaai dena.
Hotelwaala: kaunsa doo sir? special ya ordinary?
Customer: dono me kya farakh hai?
Hotelwaala: cup saaf karke doo, to special. aise hee doo to ordinary 

2 Vardhaan

Bhagwan: hum tumhaare tapasya se prasanna hue. 2 vardhaan maang lo.
Bhakt: pehle vardhaan yeh hai ke, mujhe neend mein hee marna hai
Bhagwan: thataastu, doosra kya hai?
Bhakt: doosra yeh hai ke, mujhe kabhi neend nahi aani chaahiye. 

Pati Patni

Patni: agar main mar jaaungi, to aap royenge kya?
Pati: ab kya has rahaa hoo kya? 

Swarg

Patni: swamiji ne kahaa ke swarg mein pati patni ko saath rehne nahi dete hai
Pati: isiliye usae swarg kehete hai 

Teacher to Student:

Teacher: raju, tum kis liye college aate ho?
Student: vidya ke khaatir
Teacher: toh ab so kyu rahe ho?
Student: aaj vidya nahi aayi hai sir ..

Teacher to Student:

Teacher to Student:

Teacher: OXFORD matlab kya hai?
Student: OX matlab bail, FORD matlab Gaadi. to OXFORD matlab bail gaadi

700 Kiraya

Makan Malik : Rs 700 kiraya hoga.
Kirayedar : Thik hai. Lekin aapke makan me chuhey nach rahe hai.
Malik : To saale 700 me kya Sheela nachegi?