Faltu Funny Jokes

Showing posts with label Mast Jokes. Show all posts

Santa's wife

Santa - My wife died yesterday..
I'm trying to cry but tears are not comingout,
what to do?
Banta - No Problem.
Just Imagine she Came Back.

Guy Goes 2 Bar & Sees A Beautiful Gal Sitting Alone. He Gathers Some Courage, Goes 2 Her Table & Asks:
"Wud u Mind If I Sit Here Besides u?"

She Rseponds Loudly:
"No I Dont Wanna Spend d Nyt Wid u!"

Evry1 At Bar Turns & Stares At d guy.

Makee upp

Santa : Yaar Mai To Duvidha Mein Phans Gaya

Banta: Woh Kaise?

Santa: Yaar Biwi Ke Makeup Ka Kharcha Bardasht Nahi Hota, & Makeup Ke Bina Biwi Bardasht Nahi Hoti.

Father hai petrol pump nahi...

santa apne father k samne cigrate pi raha tha

Logon ne kaha ke aap apne father ke samne cigratte pi rahay ho?

Santa bola : Wo mera father hai, koi petrol pump thodi.

Swarg me entry....

3 log marne k bad swarag k darwaje par pahuche..

1st bola - me pujari hu mene aapki zindagi bhar sewa ki mujhe andar aane do.
God-next.

2nd-me doctor Hu. maine zindagi bhar logo ki sewa ki mujhe andar aane do..
God-next..

Same Dog

Teacher to Student: Kid, your essay on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy from him?

Student: No, teacher, it's about the same dog!

Look at the owl!

Angry Boss: Have you ever seen an owl?
Employee: (looking down) No Sir...
Boss: Don't look down. Look at me.

Thinking of a dog and a cat

A dog thinks: My owners feed me, love me, provide me with a nice house, and take good care of me... They must be gods!

A cat thinks: My owners feed me, love me, provide me with a nice house and take good care of me...I must be a god!

Importance

Harbhajan starts raising his bat on 33 runs.
Dravid: What happened, its not 50 or 100!
Harbhajan: Yes, but the students understand the
importance of scoring 33.

Syllabus

Ek bacheeka jawab jab usko uske dost ne pucha"kya kya examka syllabus prepare kiya"
Sara syllabus padh liya...

Bas books aur notes padhne reh gaye hain...

Examination

Instruction by a mother to his son before entering the exam hall
Har Sawal Se Dat Kar Ladna,
Fekne Me Kami Mat Karna,
Mouka Mila To Peche Bhi Dekhna,
Aur Ek Baath Yaad Rakhna,
Aage Wala Ka Paper Apna Samajhna

Onions

If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, what does an onion do?
.
.
.
.

Apple

What kind of apple isn't an apple?
.
.
.
.
.

Key for a banana

Which key opens a banana?
.
.
.
.

.
Monkey(even you)

Engineer

An engineer died & was sent to hell by mistake.
Life in hell was very uncomfortable, so the engineer decided to install air conditioning,
lifts, flush toilets & a host of other modern conveniences.
One day God rang Satan to ask how things were in hell.
"Great!" replied Satan.
"Our engineer has made all kinds of improvements down here."
"What are you doing with an engineer!"
thundered God.
"That engineer must be sent up to heaven immediately or I'll sue!"
"Oh really?" replied Satan.
"And just where do you intend to find a lawyer

A Retiring Boss

A retiring boss wanted everyone to express their good feeling about him by writing on the farewell card on his farewell party.

He could then remember how his staff "missed" him. Most staff members were writing standard phrases like, "Without you, the company will never be the same," "We will always remember you," etc.
The boss was not satisfied and asked, "I need something from the bottom of your heart... Peter, you have been working with me for the last 40 years. You are my best staff. What do you have to say?"
Slowly but firmly, Peter wrote, "The best news in 40 years."

Hanuman to Shiv

hanuman ji to shiv ji
hanuman ji : menu dharti te dubara bhejo !!
shiv ji : kiu ki ho gyaa ...?
hanuman ji : pehle log mera nam lende ab hun mainu koi ni yadd karda aur ta aur kal ik (kudi) ayii
kendii ""hi main Geet Kaur, by the way iii sab chaddoo ji, ye batao ki aise muh kiuu phulaa rakha haiii kya bat hai !!!!!!