which end??

Beauty of the night

Birthday Gift!!

Girl-Wher's my b'day gift?

Boy- U see that red hot Ferrari on d other side of d road?

Girl(excitingly)-Yes!

Boy- Same colour ki nailpolish li hai tere liye.

Wife ask husband

* Wife Ask Husband *

Wife: Honey, if I die would you get married again?

Husband: No dear.

Wife: I’m sure you would.

Annoyed husband: Okay, I would.

Wife: Would you let her sleep in our bed?

Husband: Ya, I guess so.

Wife: Would you let her wear my clothes.

Husband: No, she is taller than you.

Politicians lie...

A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road when the bus suddenly ran off the road and crashed into an old farmer's field.

The old farmer heard the tragic crash so he rushed over to investigate. He then began digging a large grave to bury the politicians.

yeahhh!!!

Make up!!!

Breaking news......

BREAKING NEWS:

Salman Khan and Sohail Khan to appear together in their next co-production titled 'Ek Tha Driver.'"

Kathmandu mei Mahadev!!

Bhagwaan Mahadev ko pata chala ki Kathmandu mei ek beer bar khula hai , toh woh insaan ka roop leke bar mei ghusgaye... do piyakkad nei notice kiya ki mahadev ko 10 bottle peene k baad bhi thodi si bhi nahi chadi..
pehle piyakkad nei mahadev ko pucha : abei oi, tu kaun hai ?? teko maan naa padega , itni peene k baad bhi    

                                                             nahi chadi teko??
mahadev: meko nahi chadegi.. kyuki main saadharan insaan nahi hu..
dushra piyakkad: toh tu kaun hai yaar!! itna strong insaan toh maine kabhi nahi dekha!!
mahadev: Arei main mahadev hu...
pehla piyakkad: saale ko ab chadgayee... :D :P

Octopus Ban Ja Kaminey!!!

Ravi: Ye Hath Mujhay Dey Day Gaurav!!!

Gaurav:Lele! Mere Hath Lele, Ritu Ke bhi Hath Lele,Aman,Sagar Ke bhi Hath Lele, Octopus Ban Ja Kaminey!!!

Ravi: O yaar , Tu to Emotional Ho Gaya!!!!

Santa vs Marwadii

Marwadi: Chal Race lagaate hai,
Jo haara wo Rs1000 dega.

Santa: Thik hai par mujhe rasta nahi pata...

Marwadi:Bas tu mere PICHHE-PICHHE rehna!

Santa : THANX YAAR

Air hostess

Man to super hot Air Hostess: What's ur name?
Air hostess: Eva Benz.
Man: Lovely name, any relation with Mercedes Benz?
Air hostess, Smiling: "Same price..!!

Studentssss!!!!!!!!!!

Guy Goes 2 Bar & Sees A Beautiful Gal Sitting Alone. He Gathers Some Courage, Goes 2 Her Table & Asks:
"Wud u Mind If I Sit Here Besides u?"

She Rseponds Loudly:
"No I Dont Wanna Spend d Nyt Wid u!"

Evry1 At Bar Turns & Stares At d guy.

Makee upp

Santa : Yaar Mai To Duvidha Mein Phans Gaya

Banta: Woh Kaise?

Santa: Yaar Biwi Ke Makeup Ka Kharcha Bardasht Nahi Hota, & Makeup Ke Bina Biwi Bardasht Nahi Hoti.

Ghostttt...

A ghost went 4 haircut.
Barber said-'baad me aao, busy hu' ghost said somthng n barbr fainted.
.
.
.
"Sar rakh kr jaa rha hu, baad me le jaaonga"

Why multiplication on the floor??

Teacher : santa, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

Santa : You told me to do it without using tables.

BA, MA, PHD fir????

Santa : pehle me apni biwi ko BA karwaunga fir MA fir PHD karwaunga fir badiya si naukri dilwaunga.

Banta : fir acha sa rishta dekh k uski shaadi bhi krwa diyo

An interview with Santa..

Interviewer : Imagine, in a closed room, how can you escape if it caught fire?

Santa : Simple, Stop imagining

Car kii itni speed kyo?????

Santa : O Banno Car ki speed itani kyo badha di..?

Biwi : Oji Car ki break fail ho gayi hai, accident ho jaye iske pehele ghar pahunch jaate hai.

I'm JOKING

Boy:My father name is LAUGHING and my mother's name is SMILING.
Teacher:You must be kidding?
Boy:No that's my Brother. I'm JOKING.