pyaari teacher!!!

BETA: PAPA meri teacher kitni pyari hai na,

PAPA: BETA teacher maa ke barabar hoti hai,

BETA: aap to hamesha apni hi setting karne ki sochte ho...

Patni chalisa...

Nmo-nmo ptni mharani,

tumhri mhima koi na jani....|1|

Hmne smjha tum abla ho,

par tumto sbse badi bla ho....|2|

Biggest problem on earth

●►Husband and wife

Wife:--------You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Hubby:-- When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife:------- You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Hubby:---Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one.

Shocked child!!

A young man went to his father one day to tell him that he wanted to get married.

His father was happy for him. He asked his son who the girl was, and he told him that it was Pamela, a girl from the neighborhood.

With a sad face the old man said to his son, 'I'm sorry to
say this son but I have to. The girl you want to marry is your sister, but please don't tell your mother.'

The young man again brought 3 more names to his father but ended up frustrated cause the response was still the same.

So he decides to go to his mother.

'Mama I want to get married but all the girls that I love, dad said they are my sisters and I mustn't tell you.' His mother smiling said to him, 'Don't worry my son, you can marry any of those girls. You're not his son !!

Wife ask husband

* Wife Ask Husband *

Wife: Honey, if I die would you get married again?

Husband: No dear.

Wife: I’m sure you would.

Annoyed husband: Okay, I would.

Wife: Would you let her sleep in our bed?

Husband: Ya, I guess so.

Wife: Would you let her wear my clothes.

Husband: No, she is taller than you.

Hello 2 the parents....

Wife comes home late at night and quietly opens the door to her Bedroom.

From under the blanket she sees four legs instead of two.

She reaches for a Baseball Bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.

Once she's done,she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.

Are u comingg????

Little John cums to school daily with a black eye.
Teacher:
What's wrong?
Johnny:
Our house is very small. Me, mom, dad all sleep on the same bed.
Every nite dad asks:
'Johnny, U sleeping?'
I say 'No'. He slaps my face & gives me black eye.

Horse on the phone!!

A Wife hit her Husband with a Frying Pan "tuunnn.."

HUSBAND: What was that for?

WIFE: I found a paper in ur pocket with the name JENNY on it.

HUSBAND: I took part in a RACE last week & JENNY was the name of my HORSE.

WIFE: Sorry! Next day wife hit him with the frying pan AGAIN! "tuunnn.."

HUSBAND: why did u hit me again?

WIFE: Ur Horse is on the phone

wrong number!!!!!!!!

1 admi ki dusre shehar me naukri lgi.
Wha pahunch k usne socha ki biwi ko SmS kr du.
Galti se wo SmS kisi or k pas chala gaya,
Jis k pas gya wo aurat apne husband ko dafna k aai thi or SmS padthe hi behosh ho gi.

SmS kuch yun tha:
Main yha thik thak pahunch gya hu,
Yaha mobile ki suvidha bhi hai,
Tum udas mt hona,
2-3 din me tumhe b apne pas bula lunga..

Biwi Ka Naukar

Santa: Meri wife mujhe naukar samajhne lagi hai
batao main kya karun?
Banta: Karna kya hai,
2-4 ghar aur pakad aur apna dhandha jama le.....

Pohoch gayi.

Ik husband apni wife ke kirya kram (cremation) kar ke ghar lot raha tha.
Tabhi asman me jor se bijli chamki aur badal garje.
Husband bola: Lagta hai pohonch gayi.

Mail in the Jail

A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: "Dear Husband, I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?" The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replied in a letter: "Dear Wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money." A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife: "Dear Husband, You wouldn't believe what happened, some men came with shovels to the house, and dug up all the back garden." The prisoner wrote another letter back: "Dear wife, now is the best time to plant the lettuce."

Lottery

A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, 'Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!'
The husband said, 'Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?'

'Doesn't matter,' she said. 'Just get out.' 

Past

After a long night of making love, the guy notices a photo of another man,

on the woman's nightstand by the bed.
He begins to worry.
'Is this your husband?' he nervously asks.
'No, silly,' she replies, snuggling up to him.
'Your boyfriend, then?' he continues.
'No, not at all,' she says, nibbling away at his ear.
'Is it your dad or your brother?' he inquires, hoping to be reassured.
'No, no, no! You are so hot when you're jealous!' she answers.
'Well, who in the hell is he, then?' he demands.
She whispers in his ear 

Pagal

Husband:  Agar tumhe kuch ho gaya to mein pagal ho jaaunga.
Wife: Doosri shaadi to nahin karogey na ?
Husband:  Pagal ka kya hai, o kuch bhi kar sakta hai

Photo

patni : suno ji, bus me aapko logo neitna kyon mara?
pati : Are mera ek photo bus main ek aurt ke pair ke niche gir gaya tha aur mene kaha
madam zara saree uper kijiye photo lena hai…. 

Samajhdari ya beauty

Patni: -suno ji,aapko mujhme kya achcha lagta hai. meri samajhdari ya meri beauty.
pati: -mujhe to tumhari ye mazak karne ki aadat bahot pasand hai. 

Pichle saal

 patni: “Aapne pichle saal salgireh pe mujhe lohay ka bed diya tha, Iss baar aapka kya iraada hai?”
pati: “Iss saal uss mein current chodne ka iraada hai.” 

Main aur tum

Patni:- main tumse jo kuch bhi kahti hu tum ek kaan se sunkar doosre se nikaal dete ho.
Pati:-aur main tumse kuch bhi kahta hu to tum dono kaan se sunkar muh se nikaal deti ho. 

Nai nai car

Nai nai car chalana sikhi biwi:aaj hum car se jaenge aur car main chalaungi.
Pati:-kon nahin,jaenge car main aur aaenge akhbaar main.